Moms

So, it would appear that UPS hates mothers...

I'm sure that's not really true, but they did fur-low a soon to be mother because she was going a baby.  Now, whether or not the supreme court sides with her or UPS is really not the point for me.  For me it seems to go deeper than that.  For me it seems that in the society and this culture we have begun to treat pregnancy as a disease.  It has become something that women are afflicted with for nine months and then it is purged from them along with a newborn.  Not only that, but we now treat the fathers as though they are no longer part of the equation.

This is not the opinion of those who have families.  Nor is this the opinion of the incredible online community that helps, supports, and encourages new parents.  This is the hyper-polarizing view of the mainstream media and social media outlets.  Why is it that for so many its only the moms who endure this emotional roller coaster when it comes to raising a child.  I see so many signs and commercials telling dads to "go home and be a good dad".  I want nothing more than to be the best dad I can, but it seems to me that being the best dad I can be gets in the way of being a good employee.

We discuss at length the need for paid maternity leave in this country.  I give that idea a resounding YES!  Mothers should never be penalized for wanting to be and becoming mothers.  When did it become okay for us as a group to stop helping new mothers.  When did we decide that the almighty dollar was more important that bringing up a child.  Small communities used to raise children as a group.  Everyone was willing to help with whatever was needed.  Now it seems that parents are expected to raise the child with only help from the immediate family.  There is a very strong online community to support and help, but why is that limited to the online community.  Why aren't our neighbors there to help.  Why aren't our employers willing to give us time to be with our newly minted families.

Moms have, HAVE to be with those new babies.  But so do dads.  I wish that I could spend more time with my family, but I don't get to do that.  Bills have to get paid.  Money has to be made.  I hope that the Supreme Court rules in favor of this mother.  I hope that it opens the door to legitimate maternity leave in this country.  I hope that we as a society will see that nothing is more important to a family than the ability to be together as a family.  Because hopefully the idea of real PAID maternity leave will lead to real PAID paternity leave.

Mainly because I don't want to miss my sons first words, or first steps, or anything else because we as a society think that money is so damned important.

A New Page

Well, I'm back. I know it had been a while since I have posted, but...life happened. Had a baby, graduated from college, became a pilot. I am quite a ways from where I was the last time I posted, but  I am still as passionate about life as I ever was. More to come. Stay tuned...

The Forest or a Big Group of Trees?

Women...what can't they do?  Well according to the Georgia Baptist Convention, be a pastor.  Women have held our civilization together since we all decided to live in communities.  Just look at their traditional roles in society.  They kept the household, raised the children, made the meals.  Even in this modern age many women still have this traditional role in the house along with holding down full time jobs.  That's not to say that men can't do those things, but in my experience women have a much easier time of it.  It basically comes down to physiology. 

The female brain and the male brain are simply different.  There are scientific studies that say men are better a some things, while women are better at more things.  As a modern male I am OK with admitting this.  I understand that women are wired to be more emotional attached to any given situation.  This is not a shortcoming.  It would be juvenile and immature to think that, because one would apply emotion that they are less capable of completing a task.  All over the world women are stepping into roles traditionally held by men.  Women in Israel have been serving in combat scenarios for almost a generation.  They do this job well.  No one would argue that Oprah couldn't do a man's job.  Not only did she beat a bunch of Men's men cowboys, she did it here in Texas.  Now she is starting her own network, OWN.  And that's Ted Turner territory.

So what's the point?  Well to some people, (men) women can't do the things that men can do.  Like what?  Pee standing up?  I've seen a women do it.  It wasn't by choice, but some things you can't unsee...especially while camping.  Run a major company, uh...Oprah...  And now be a pastor.  Those in Georgia say that the Bible says a woman can't fill that role.  It also says we should stone adulterers to death, but they seemed to let that rule fall by the wayside.  I'm not saying that we should abandon the teachings of the Bible, but I do think that it is time to take a good long look at how we interpret the Scripture.  I know that some of you out there will be up in arms about the idea of looking at the Bible as a teaching guide rather than a historical and factual document, but remember that this is the same book that says the second most important rule to live by (i.e. the Ten Commandments) is to "Love Thy Neighbor". 

I know I'm right about this.  I've said it before and I'll say it again...God loves all of his children.  He doesn't pick and chose His favorites and disregard the rest. He wants the best for all of us.  How dare we presume to understand His plan.  We are players on His grand stage.  He casts us in the role most suited to each of us.  He is the ultimate "Director".

Until we all get that, I suppose we will have to suffer the ignorant and narrow-minded "Producers" in this world. 

Give Me Liberty or Give Me an Opt-Out...

Well kids its finally here.  The day we all knew would come has arrived.  The US government is finally going over to Big Brother.  This was no one day revelation, rather a slow build up that we all watched happen.  We have finally reached the point where I can honestly say,  I hate what has happened to our country.  We have finally and irreversibly succumbed to the terrorists.  We have done what Benjamin Franklin said we should never do.  We have given up privacy and freedom for the sake of security.

The great fore-father's actual quote was " Any man willing to give up privacy for security deserves neither".  Think about that.  What does that mean to us today?  To me it means that we should never let our government get to decide that we are all liars.  When you give up your ability to say no to an airport screener then the fear-mongers have won.

A world where security is more important than privacy assumes that we are all liars.  It assumes that we are all criminals.  It assumes we are all guilty.  If thats the case then lets go ahead and toss out the judicial system and get rid of the Supreme Court.  If we are all guilty then we should be able to save some tax money on court costs.  Hey, while we are at it lets just say the cops can now decide our sentences on the street.  "That guy looks like a murder suspect, put him in jail.  He must have done something wrong."  This kind of "the world is out to get us" mentality is just like the witch-hunting mentality of the McCarthy era fear-mongers.  Not only that, but an attitude like that is a self fulfilling prophecy that will invariably come true.

A case for thought; in a college town in the mid-west, every year there was a big street party that, on occasion had a tendency to get  out of hand.  When one year the police sent out a bunch of cops in uniform and laid down a bunch of new rules, it wasn't long before a riot broke out.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of property damage and lots of arrests later the police where at a loss.  So, the next year the sent out a bunch of UCs, (under-covers for those of you who have never seen an episode of Law & Order) convinced the bar owners to serve in only plastic cups, and didn't use great shows of force.  The result, no riot.  If there is no one to fight then, there can't be a fight.

I understand that there are people in this world that want to do others harm.  And I know that protecting the public is the responsibility of the government, but not at the expense of our privacy.

I think it would be a a tragic and ironic state of affairs if we continue down this road to Big Brother, and we become the exact kind of state that McCarthy and his cronies fought so hard to stave off.  Get ready for bio-chips and scanners... Or maybe we can find a nice tattoo artist to give us all numbers on our forearms...

Love to Hate...

Why do we hate things?  What is it about humans that gives us that capacity?  I can rationalize the reasons, of course.  It's because of upbring, or lack of education, or more importantly fear.  To me, being afraid of something is the weakest of all postions in life.  What do you fear?  I suppose this is a fitting question on Halloween...

Courage is understanding fear and overcoming it.  When I was a kid I was terrified of rollercoasters.  Well lots of stuff actually... The point is after I rode a few I fell in love.  Couldn't get enough of 'em.  That's the way with most things.  Once you get to know something, you enjoy it or at least you begin to understand it. 

The whole point of this story would be the story about the school administrator who made some very off color comments about gay students.  What makes a person feel that way.  What is it in his head that makes him feel like its ok to say that gay students should get AIDS and die.  Can it really be a lack of education... fear... all of the above.  It would be easy to rail on this guy.  Break him down and turn on him the way he attacked his students.  I don't want to be any thing like that guy.  Those are the kinds of things that Klan members say. 

God doesn't pick and chose His kids.  He doesn't love one group more than another.  He loves all of us unconditionally.  I wonder what that administrator would do if his son or daughter told him they were gay?  Would he condemn them with AIDS?  Would he wish that on his brother, sister, father, or mother?  And to those who would say that homosexuality is a sin... To quote your referance source "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  Moreover, "the punishment for sin is death".  That means according to the book so many use to condemn others would condemn us all.  This is not the time or the place for deep philisophical debates, suffice it to say according to most religious types we are all going to be punished for sin.  If the gay man has to burn in Hell for being gay the you, me, and everyone else are just as damned.  Luckly for you and me the good Lord I was taught about loved us enough to send us a way out. 

We cannot understand what we fear.  And we will always destroy what we fear.  We have destroyed beautiful and wonderful things because we do not understand them.  The Romans did it.  The French did it.  The British did it.  The Americans did it.  Even the terrorists on 9/11 did it. 

I can understand why sometimes we behave this way.  Its easy.  And we, as a species, are inherently lazy.  Like all primates, we want to take the easy way out.  However, one of the things that seperates us from the animals would be our ability to work to make our world better, for everyone. 

If left up to bigots, racists, sexists, and fear mongers there won't be anybody left anywhere.   Regardless of what those kind of people fear, even if they get rid of it they will find something else to hate.  So, to all you haters out there, the first step should be to learn a little more about what your afraid of.  And if you can't do that, expect to spend the rest of eternity in the smoking section...

Two Sides of the Same Coin...

What does it mean to be good or bad?  Evil or pious?   True or false?  These are concepts that all children, ideally are taught by their parents.  From a very young age we are shown what to do and not to do.  We are told its wrong to steal and right to give.  We are told its good to tell the truth and bad to lie.  But, what if these concepts, that are suppose to govern our everyday lives are simply matters of perception.  What if there is no right and wrong, only choices.

There are defining times when there is a clear cut right and wrong in our society.  We call these laws.  They are decided by the people whom we elect to be our representatives in a government.  Collectively we, as a society, have decided that some things make the group's lives better.  Don't kill each other, don't steal someones things, and be honest.  We decided a long time ago that these, and many others, make all of our lives better.  But, what if not everyone thinks that is right?

In this world, one of the greatest "truths" is perception is reality.  How you perceive the world is your reality.  This might seem a heady concept, but we experience this phrase all the time.  If you think, or perceive, something to be true, then it is.  It really is as simple as that.  I learned this at a very young age.  You see, when I was young I discovered that if my mother, sorry Mom, thought my room  was clean, then to her mind at least, it was.  Her reality was, that my room was clean.  She believed my room was clean, even if all I had done was hide the toys I was supposed to put away.  Her reality was what she believed and what she understood. 

Think of it like this, a scientist only accepts what he or she believes to be fact.  Facts are, by the way, empirical data that cannot be disproved.  It is a fact that gravity is pervasive throughout the universe.  It is a fact that the earth rotates at a speed that causes the illusion of the sun rising and falling every 24 hours.  These are things that you cannot refute.  We all accept these as "truth".   But truth is a misinterpretation of the concept.  While facts are empirical and can be proven, truth, like so many things is in the eye of the beholder. 

Truth is something you must believe in.  It is reliant on the individuals beliefs, perceptions, and upbringing.  Truth can be refuted and challenged.  If this were not so religion wouldn't work.  People must believe that the church is telling them the truth.  We must believe that the government, be it local, state or the federal, is telling us the truth.  Truth requires trust, facts require proof.  Think back to your science and math classes, no one ever challenged that 2 + 2 = 4.  Or that when you heat ice it melts to water, then changes to steam.  These could be proved.  Now think about that government class.  So much of what you were taught was based on what the government told the people.  There is a reason why our government has the policy of changing out people on a regular basis and it is because, after a while the public can lose faith in the elected officials.  We must believe that our representatives are doing the "right" thing by us.

The best way to explain this rather deep concept is with the "coin" and the "ball" metaphor.  When you look at a coin you see one side at time.  It is almost impossible to see both sides of the coin at the same time.  No matter how hard you try you can only see head, tails, or the edge.  This is how we should view truth.  Hold out a coin so that "heads" faces you.  Now have someone stand opposite you and look and the other side of the coin.  What do you see?  What do they see?  Chances are you won't see the same thing.  This is an example of how perception changes your reality.  When asked what's on the coin you will receive to very different answers.  One person will respond heads and the other tails.  This can be further exemplified in the "ball" metaphor. 

Imagine a ball that looks like the earth suspended in 3D space.  Now put a ring of people, shoulder to shoulder, around the ball.  When asked what they see each person will respond a little differently that the person next to them would.  Those who are directly across from each other will have very different answers.  Now say we fill up the space around the ball in all three dimensions with people.  Each and every one of those people will see the ball a little bit differently.  Even the people right next to each other will not be able to see the same exact thing.  Now if we apply this to life and society we can begin to understand no two people see the same thing in the same way.  That is what, in my opinion, causes so much strife.

It is up to each and every one of us to understand that, no matter which side of the coin we are looking at, its the same coin.  We must recognize that, when we feel very strongly about an issue or event there is someone else looking at the other side of that issue or event.  A very wise man once said "You can never understand you own argument until you completely understand that of you opponent". (Thanks Dad)  A simpler way to say that is to "Walk a mile in another man's shoes". 

If you truly want to understand your perspective on life then you must see the world from as many points of view as possible.  It would be almost impossible to do that and not be changed on some level.  Change is not bad.  Putting yourself though that kind of crucible will help to strip away preconceptions and possibly some of your negative ways of thinking about a given subject.  But its not enough to look at it from their side.  You must seek to understand why they see it that way.  You have to want to stand in their shoes and experience life as they do.  You must empathize and not just sympathize with them.  Then and only then will you begin to see the world through their eyes.  And once you fully understand how someone else see the world then, maybe just maybe, you won't need to make everyone see the world in only your light. 

And to the people who don't want to change...that's ok, because soon your kind won't be here anymore.  You will die and so to will your thoughts of hatred, bigotry, and selfishness.  Those are not the ideas that make people great, nor are they the concepts on which this nation were built.  We as Americans are supposed to be inviting to all regardless of creed, race, or financial status.  We should never turn away those who need our help, but we also should not feel compelled to change the rest of the world to our likeness.  The greatest weapon in our arsenal is education.  We must seek to give every single person on the planet the information to make good decisions for themselves.  Then let them make those decisions. 

And maybe just maybe if we understand each other and how we all perceive the world in different ways we can find a we to live together without fear or malice. 

Rosa Parks was never the problem, it was always the white people who had the problem...

Fox in the Hen House...

Now I have never been the biggest fan of Fox News, and I whole heartedly believe in the freedom speech, but Bill's comment on The View the other day was a little over the top.  "Muslims killed us on 9/11" Those are powerful words from a man who already has an established base of viewers.  Bill has every right to say those words.  In fact he can say whatever he wants.  But, in the same way that tobacco ads can affect kids, so too can Bill's words.

I truly believe that it is the responsibility of each and every parent to govern what their children are exposed to.  It does not fall to me, or Bill for that matter, to make sure that your children are raised the way you want them to be raised.  That responsibility falls to the parents.  Its your job to make sure your kids understand what in this world is good and bad.  (I will expound on what I think are the concepts of good and bad later.)  My parents never expected anyone else to do their job for them.  They made sure that I knew what right and wrong where, not anybody else.  With that said, Bill was in the wrong.

As a public figure, Bill must realise that what he says impacts people.  I'm sure that Bill doesn't want to discuss any of the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, or the Salem Witch Trials.  These are events that were predicated on the idea that Christianity was superior and that the victims of these events where beyond saving.  These ideas, just like the ones held today by extremists both Muslim and Christian, are dangerous.  I'm sure that Bill wouldn't want to discuss that, traditionally, "the church" was used to control the people.  When Rome fell, it was "Religion" that stepped in to replace it as the "guiding light" for the masses. 

I think that any idea or value which separates whole swaths of people into groups based on religion, sex, ethnicity is a bad one.  We no longer live in a time where we, the people, the individuals, need our leaders to make our moral judgements for us.  We have the information at hand to make our own judgements. 

The Bible, when it speaks of Jesus, does not portray a religiously pious man.  He hung out with thieves, liars, and prostitutes.  He did not chose to use the religious establishment, rather he preached against it.  It would seem that Bill is taking the position of the pharisees.  He lumps all the people who are not like him into a group dammed to hell.  A dangerous thing to do. 

In the end people are people.  What we chose to do and say is up to us.  We are responsible for our own actions and words.  In this country we understand the power of words.  We know what a single phrase can do to the public.  I am not condoning what a small group of very troubled people did on that fateful September morning.  That day is burned into my brain just as it is in Bill's.  However, blaming all of Islam is just as ignorant as believing that all Christians were responsible for countless number of murders that have been committed in the name of God. Yes they were Muslims...and yes that act was horrible...but if you want to blame all Muslims for that day, then we must also say that Bill represents every single American voice. 

And for my money, he doesn't.